Dreamer gave me a call the other day to say he was out of jail and to ask for some money.
Dreamer is someone I met a couple of years ago who has been living on the streets since he was 14. He has a history of drug abuse and has had a very rough go at life. Dreamer stayed with us at Jane Street for a couple months before heading down to Florida for the winter (he spent Christmas with my family at my grandmother's...that was interesting). I have run into him on multiple occasions since then that have been a little more than "coincidence." God's hand has been on our relationship since it began. Until this week, he had never asked me for money.
He called to ask for some money for some basic needs stuff. Of course, being the good Christian steward of my money, I asked him if there were things I could buy him so that I did not have to send money. I have been conditioned to never give money because of course they (by "they" I mean the homeless and destitute) are going to buy drugs and alcohol. So, instead we give food and blankets and other necessities so that they can use the money other people give them for drugs and alcohol...but at least our conscience is clear.
I am sick of trying to justify that model against the model that Christ gave us. Give to those who ask of you...There are no stipulations. Sure, you can tell me that that was a different time under different circumstances as today, but the reality is that the command was to love and to give generously. The truth is that I have plenty of addictions that I use my money to feed daily. They may not be drugs and alcohol, they may not appear so sinister, but they are destroying me all the same.
What would happen if we started spending some of the money we use to feed our shopping, food, and entertainment addictions to actually give to the poor in an unpatronizing way. There is no way that I could talk to Dreamer today and tell him that I will send him anything but money and it not be completely patronizing. Here is a man whom I know, a man who comes to my house every time he is in town, a man that was totally honest with me as to why he got thrown in prison, a man who until now has never asked me for money, a man who greatly desires to be free of his addiction. God forbid, but I am going to give him some money. I can't keep self-righteously judging everyone that I see on the street anymore. It is getting hard to sleep at night.
The Science of Old Growth and Grief
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Do you remember (I'm not even sure if you were there) this one Happening meeting in Monroeville... I'm not even sure how old I was at the time.
But a woman came into the church looking distraught and crying. She spoke with me and I think Tom (one of the Toms). She told us she was going to see her family or something like that because her mother was either sick or dying or something. Anyway, she said that she had come to the church to ask for money to help her get there. Tom let me make the call and I invited her in to make her case in front of everyone. We prayed for her and then everyone gave money.
She took down our information and said she would find us again and let us know how it went. Then she left.
We never heard from her again.
I often think of this story when I see someone begging on the street because, like you, I also have those voices telling me not to give money because of what 'they' might do with it.
But that woman left that day with the knowledge that we loved her because she was God's creation and nothing more. We didn't know who she was but she made a request and we did our best to fulfill it.
I want to respond to this post in a more systematic way later (my Logic final is tomorrow so everything is crazy right now in my head), but I wanted to ask two seemingly absurd clarifying questions:
1. If someone who is poor asks you specifically for drug money (which has happened to me several times), do you give it to them?
2. If someone who is poor asks you specifically to buy drugs, whether legal or illegal, in order to give him/her the drugs, do you do it?
What I'm trying to learn here is whether or not there's a limit in your mind. In your opinion, is giving generously (which is what I'd be doing in both cases) sometimes, well, stupid?
That is tough, Ian. That is ultimately where the logic leads. What I am wrestling with is that I am not so sure about the answer any more.
I think about when I met dreamer. He was walking toward me on E. Carson St. and I began crossing the street to avoid him and I turned around to see my friend giving him a sizeable sum of money. She ended up giving him a ride home and our relationship was born.
Would I give drug money to someone begging on the street? Maybe...especially if that pocket change led to a real conversation or a ride home.
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