Questions of Call

So, as of late last month I am an aspirant of the Diocese of Pittsburgh and I have my Postulancy interviews in March. I find it ironic that now that I have finally gotten around to starting the process I am questioning my call more than ever...maybe that is not quite right. I cannot say that I am actually questioning my call. I still know this is where the Lord is leading me, but the commitments that I have right now are starting to wear on me. The three jobs on top of my full-time school load is too much, I don't see how I can cut back anytime soon.

I cannot stop school if I ever want to finish the ordination process that I recently started and I cannot pay for school even with the two paying jobs that I have now. So I am piling up debt in order to finish school, so that I can be ordained, so that the church that I am helping to pastor (my third job albeit unpaid) can be permitted to celebrate the sacraments properly within the Episcopal tradition from which we were born.

This is all in addition to trying to figure out if I should propose to the woman I am dating (I can write that here, it is no secret). She keeps getting the short end of the stick because she is the only commitment without a deadline. As harsh and insensitive as that sounds it is the truth. I am having a hell of a time with the fact that I am that man that does not have time for his family.

Well, sorry that my only post in a month is a bitchfest, but sometimes you need to put some things out there and this is where I do it. For those looking for more theological discussion, I am sure that will come in the following weeks. I am taking a January intensive this next week on the theology of Paul, which will foster some good conversation.