Forgiveness in Matthew 18

As a child I remember having a clear sense of justice. When that instinct was violated I became very upset. I cannot remember any teachings about reconciliation (a very popular term these days), but I do remember how it was supposed to work. If someone offended, they should come to their senses and apologize. The victim of offense would then forgive them.

When I was in High School, our youth group had a different method. We called it keeping "short accounts." In this model the person offended would go to the offender and let them know they hurt us and they in turn were supposed to apologize. This would keep offenses from piling up and clear the air before accounts could grow too large. It may sound familiar because this is essentially what is described in last week's Gospel passage (Matt 18:15-20).

While I remember being very good about going to my fellow disciples and expecting them to apologize for hurting me, it was much harder for me to forgive when they came to me. People would come up to me and expect me to apologize for the silliest things. I was happy to apologize when I actually did something mean or hurtful, but just because someone came up and said I hurt them didn't mean I had done anything wrong, right? They were just being "too sensitive."

Wow, is that a phrase I have come to hate more than just about any other..."you're being too sensitive." I am convinced this is a sinner's crutch; I am convinced this is my crutch. I use it to justify my desire to be righteous and to be clear of offense. Someone says I have offended and I can brush them aside because they are simply being "too sensitive."

"Too sensitive" is a phrase we use because we are steeped in unforgiveness. We are entirely ready to take the high ground and forgive others. But when we are told we have sinned, that we must cede the high ground and no one likes that. "I had no intention of hurting you," we might say. We think to ourselves that we would not have gotten upset by what we had done. We are content to know that we have "done unto others as we would have them do unto us." (Matt 7:12) The problem is we forget that two chapters earlier Jesus also said, "Be perfect, as your father in heaven is perfect." (Matt 5:48)

"Peter came and said to Jesus, 'Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.'" (Matt 18:21-22)

Forgiveness is hard, and the forgiveness that God demands is impossible. Jesus goes on from this passage to tell a story of a man who was forgiven much and yet refused to forgive one who owed him little. This unforgiving man was tortured until he paid back all that he owed. An amount so staggering that it would have been impossible for him to comply.

The point of the parable is simple. We should forgive others and not hold grudges, end of story right? Thankfully, the story does not end there because that conclusion leaves us hopeless. This "moral of the story" is impossible to attain. If we walk away from this parable with the message that because God forgives us we must then forgive others, we are lost.

We are humans and thus sinners who are unable to forgive as we have been forgiven. And in our unforgiveness we incur the wrath of a righteous God, to be tortured until we have repaid all we owe.

If the Law and its requirements were all we were left with, that would be the end of the story and we would pass through life hopeless. But thankfully, with Law comes Gospel. Because God is a forgiving and loving God, he sent his son that in our death we may have life.

From the cross Jesus says, "Father, forgive them, for the know not what they do," and that is exactly what he does. Our sins...forgiven. Your sins...forgiven. My sins...forgiven. Period.

He does not even wait for us to ask. Before we go looking to settle our accounts, short or long...forgiven. Before our mouths can even form the words,"I'm sorry"...forgiven. In our wretchedness...forgiven. In our death...forgiven.