So, There Is This Girl

"How do I know if the amount of time I spend with her is too much?"

She is pretty amazing. I like her...a lot. We get along well, good conversation comes easily for us, and we have have very similar interests. This question comes because, obviously, I want to spend most of my free time with her, but I want to share it because I think that this question can address a host of issues by simply changing the object:

"How do I know if the amount of time I spend...is too much?"

My first instinct is to ask whether or not my time with her is coming at the expense of other commitments. I think this is a good starting place, but in making a commitment to live life with someone romantically I am commiting to more time with that person than before. If this extra time is more than I already have, then I need to reduce some of my time commitments somewhere. Does that make dating them bad? Does this mean I am spending too much time with her? I do not think that it does provided any commitments that must be adjusted are worked through with those who are affected.

My next thought is that it is a matter of priority. Is there a balance between my priorities and my time? However, I think that is a false question because in my world our priorities are defined by how we spend our time and a mental list of our priorities that is not supported by our actual lives is a worthless list.

What about balance? Am I balanced between how much time we spend together and...? What is on the other side of the scale? I hear a lot of talk about "balance" in a relationship--much of it from my mouth--but what exactly needs to be balanced? Off the top of my head I think: time, physical interaction, spiritual intensity, emotional intensity, and commitment. When I put it into words, the idea keeping things in balance sounds a bit unrealistic. How are any of those things quantified? If they can be quantified, how can they be compared?

In the end it looks like I have nothing, but the question lingers and I am sure there will be follow up to this. Please, anyone that would like to comment and further this I would love to hear your comment...especially married couples that have seen this process from inception to marriage completely. Show this to your friends, I want to know what you think.